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[DMX]

The Different Types Of Poop

Ghost Poop ~~ You know you've pooped. There's poop on the toilet paper,
but no poop in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Poop ~~ Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't
feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the
toilet bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Poop ~~ This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your butt 12
times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper
in your underwear so you don't stain it. This poop leaves permanent skid
marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Poop ~~ You're all done wiping your butt and you're about
to stand up when you realize it...you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poop ~~ This kind is the kind of poop that
killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and
purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Poop ~~ You poop so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now Poop ~~ You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually
it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Poop ~~ This poop is so big that you know it
won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat
hanger works well. This kind of poop usually happens at someone else's
house.

Wet Cheeks Poop ~~ This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG
splash that gets your butt wet.

Wish Poop ~~ You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no
poop!

Cement Block or Oh God Poop ~~ You wish you'd gotten a spinal block
before you poop.

Snake Poop ~~ This poop is fairly soft and about as big around as your
thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) ~~ Even after the third flush,
it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This poop
usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food Poop (also called Screamers) ~ You'll know it's alright to
eat again when your butthole stops burning.

Beer Drunk Poop ~~ This happens the day after the night before. Normally
your poop doesn't smell too bad, but this poop is BAD. Usually there's
somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of poop also
usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle ~~ The kind of poop that just pokes its head out
then quickly goes back in.

The Bungee Poop ~~ The kind of poop that just hangs off your butt before
it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Poop ~~ The kind of poop where you eat really spicy
food and your butthole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler ~~ The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so
long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber ~~ The kind of poop that no matter how many times you
flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ~~ The kind of poop that hits you when
you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Poop ~~ The king of poop that sits in the toilet
overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

Jack the Ripper Poop ~~ The kind of poop that yanks out your butthair as
it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper ~~ The giant poop you take at a party. And when you
flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Poop ~~ The kind of poop that makes you pass out and fall
of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange
South American town.

Dirty Bowl Poop ~~ The kind of poop that comes out in a million pieces a
second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and
splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Poop ~~ When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard
that you no longer need to take a poop.

Oh Poop! Poop ~~ You poop so much and wipe your butt so furiously you
run out of toilet paper and you say OH ****!

The Never Ending Poop ~~ It's the poop that keeps running out of your
butt like pee, and just when you start wiping your butt your stomach
gargles and splash, more poop runs out. This always happens after eating
at K.F.C.
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[Drake]

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